It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
