I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize