don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
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Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I love you.
Bad choice
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