The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
