I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
