I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize