This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
