plz talk dirty to me
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize