you would pick up someone in the library
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
