While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
dude. I can hear the air.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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