found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
