then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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