So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
