Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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