Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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