Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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