OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
