I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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