Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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