do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
