How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
