Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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