you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
