but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
