According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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