he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
