I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You were trust falling into bushes
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
