I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
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Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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