And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
