Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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