do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
