were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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