at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
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