Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
