I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
