How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
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Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
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Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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