Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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