....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Michael Bay diarrhea
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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