life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
