people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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