You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
