I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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