just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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