More tranny stories later!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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