no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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