I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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