erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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