The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
