This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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