Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
