Well apparently he's into motor boating.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
