You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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