trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
