This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
