dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
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i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
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I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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