Midget sex pt 2 tonight
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You took a bar mat shot.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
